It's Alive

First I had a head
It was mummified
Then I dipped it in some goo
And made it grow a thousand times
And when I stitched it on a body
And I chased away the flies
It blinked it's eyes
Orbs of enormous size

And then it turned
It winked at me
I jumped up into the air
And danced with scientific glee
Then I looked down and realized
There was work yet left to do
It was missing both it's legs
I needed legs
I needed glue

Go hunchback go!
Into the night!
It needs some legs now
It needs some legs to make it right
That hunchback returned
With legs muscular and big
I sewed them on
The beast got up and danced a jig

Now it's alive!
Yes it's alive!
It's a monolithic monster
With super powers
And it's mine
It needs electricity
And scientific remedies
But it's alive
Yes it's alive

Oh...
I spent my entire life
In ridicule
I was called a maniac
And an egocentric fool
I suffered jeers and fears of ignorance
I was scorned with despise
But now - I am on the rise

My theory's true
And I am free
I'm not locked up in that rubber room
Like you thought I aught to be
And now I stand vindicated
By a monster big and mean
Now look who's fooling who
And who's pants are full of pee

Go hunchback go
Into the night
It needs some turtle wax
To make it's scales so shiny bright
They'll try to bring it down
With automatic guns
Bombs and laser beams
My monster's gonna have some fun

Cause it's alive!
Yes it's alive!
It's a monolithic monster
With super powers and it's mine
It needs electricity
And some extra TLC
Cause it's alive
Yes it's alive

Go hunchback go
Into the night
It needs plutonium
To feed it's monster appetite
They'll try to bring it down
With automatic guns
Tanks and air-o-planes
My monster's gonna have some fun

Cause it's alive!
Yes it's alive!
It's a monolithic monster
With super powers and it's mine
And with electricity
It'll bring this city to it's knees
Cause it's alive
Yes it's alive

It's alive!
Bwaaa haaa haaa, haa haa ha, ooo oo

Dream Interpretations

Books that claim to be able to interpret your dreams bug me.  I'm not saying that I don't believe that they have no meaning - I mean there's probably some reason that the mind churns this stuff out, even if it's just the brain's natural equivilant of zoning out in front of the tv.  My beef is with the arrogance of the book's maker to assume that they can divine the symbolic signifigance of any of the elements of a dream.

Say you dreamt of a cow.  "Cow" is going to have a much different meaning to a butcher than to a farmer who has to shovel their patties out of the barn every day, in the same way that a Hindu would have different "cow" thoughts than a burger junkie.  And I'm pretty sure that the book doesn't take into account that the cow was tap dancing in a tree while a mime was attempting to jump over the moon inside his invisible box.

In my personal favorite dream of all time, I spent most of the dream trying to escape an alien, the blob, and the anti-blob (think tapioca pudding with an attitude).  The twist is that every time I was trapped with no way out, about to be eaten by one of the monsters, it would be time for a commercial.  Always the same commercial: Juan Valdez and his donkey, talking about real Columbian coffee beans.  When the commercial ends, suddenly there is a way to escape, only to be chased by one of the other monsters.  Interpret that!

Another favorite starred a parrot who clung to that spot on my back that I can't reach, but every time I stopped trying to grab the thing it would try to bite my ears.  In an attempt to get rid of it, I climbed down into a sewer.  I'm not really sure why I thought that would help - I just ended up all mucky with a parrot on my back. 

And what the heck does it mean when you are multiple people in the same dream, kind of like Eddie Murphy in the Nutty Professor.  This happens to me all the time.  It's like my brain is trying to cut down on cast costs or something.