As we near the final year in the Mayan calendar, I am reminded of all of the beefs that I have with our Gregorian calendar. First and foremost, is anyone else bothered by the fact that the Gregorian calendar is basically the same as the Julian calendar, with just a couple tweeks? I mean, it wasn't that long ago historically that the Gregorian calendar was made, and it seems to me that if you have to make some changes you do it up proper, instead of just putting a little duct tape here and there to make it hang together a bit nicer.
Furthermore, moving the starting year of the Roman calendar to celebrate Jesus's birth is just weird. I mean, they weren't exactly his biggest fans. I think the Romans have had enough influence, already. They were a megalomaniac society, and I don't think that they should be rewarded by everyone observing their calendar. And their naming of the months is just plain plain idiotic. I mean think about September, October, November, December:
Sept = 7 and September is the ninth month of the year.
Oct = 8 and October is the tenth month of the year
Nov = 9, Dec = 10. The Roman society put to death anyone who attempted to teach higher math, and it shows. They couldn't even count to twelve without making a mistake!
Another problem I have is the number of days in the months. Why does February only have 28 days, already? You shouldn't have to say a rhyme to figure out how many days there are in the month. It's just silly. And I don't like the days of the week moving around from month to month. That's just sloppy.
So what are we supposed to do, you ask? Are we just supposed to rip up our calendars and start from scratch?
I'm glad you asked, and yes.
I created a quick factorial calculator in Excel, and there is one number that jumps out as the clear choice to solve some of these issues, but there is a snag. A small snag, but a snag nevertheless. It only works with a six day week. Now, I just performed a survey in my mind, and one day came out as a frontrunner to get the axe. Nobody really likes Mondays anyway. Let's just drop that day from the week, and move on. This brings Tuesday to it's proper place as the second day of the week - remember what I said about those Romans and math?
This makes an easy transition to a 30 day month, five weeks in that month, and six days in that week. Every month can now begin properly on a Sunday, giving rise to a whole new time to celebrate - the monthend weekend. It could be a time for getting together and being merry.
Now stop looking at me with those squinty eyes. I know what you're thinking. Thirty times twelve is only 360. What happens to those other 5-6 days?
Those days will have to exist on their own. It could be kind of a year end holiday where people dance in the streets and throw pickles in the air. Now, the days of this holiday would have to exist outside of the normal week structure, or the whole monthend weekend thing goes out the window, and these unique days would have to have names that are easy to remember, as they only come up one time a year. I suggest that they be named Thumbsday, Indexday, Middleday, Ringday, Pinkyday, and every leapyear there could be an Otherthumbsday.
Another change. I think that having the year begin on the first day of Spring would be much more meaningful that some arbitrary day in the middle of winter. Year 1 could start in the Spring of 2013, changing the Mayan end of the world thing to more of the beginning of a new and improved calendar.
The last order of business is to change the names of the months. I think that it's pretty conceited for Caesar and Augustus to have thier own months, and naming the others after old gods that nobody worships anymore, and numbers that don't even make sense.. I think it's time to be progressive and step things up a bit. So here are a few suggestions for month names.
Ghandiary - No wars are allowed during this month. Give peace a chance.
Teresary - A month to think about what you can do to make the world a better place.
Shalhouber - Because he was awesome in "Monk".
Cheese - Because it is yummy.
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