Sir!! Do you work here?
Why, yes, I do. How can I help you today? I have an issue with this loaf of bread. I purchased it here last week.
Okay.... Umm... What was wrong with it?It was a slice short! Excuse me? Are you deaf man! The loaf of bread was a slice short! This brand of bread always has twenty slices, which works well for making sandwiches. Except this time. This loaf is missing a slice!Are you certain it didn't have an extra slice in it. You know, like a baker's dozen. Although I guess this would be more like a baker's score... Oh, I am certain. I always make two sandwiches a day - one for now and one for later. I opened the bag five days ago, and it is later, which means this loaf is a slice short.Are you certain someone else didn't else didn't make a half sandwich? A what? A half sandwich. You know, you fold a single slice in half and you make a sandwich that way. I live alone.And you never have a slice of toast in the morning? With butter and jam? Nothing starts the day like a slice of toast.Not during this time of year. And when I have toast, I always make two slices. It's a waste of electricity to only make one slice!How about chilli? Because when I eat chilli, I like to use a slice of bread, lightly buttered, to mop up the juice at the bottom of the bowl. My stomach can't handle chilli. Now, what I want to know, is what are you going to do about this loaf of bread?Do you have your receipt?
Why on Earth would I save the receipt for a loaf of bread? In case you found something wrong with it, like say, it was missing a slice. Are you mocking me, sir!Sorry, just trying to break the tension.What are you going to do about this loaf of bread?!? Let's see. $4.00 a loaf by 20 slices... 20 cents a slice... I'll take it. Sorry for the inconvineance, but I really have something I have to get to. I understand. So long.(Grocer heads to the breakroom.)
Gary, are you up for a half sandwich today? Sure! Thanks.
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