What doesn't kill you gives you a great story to tell, over and over, to anyone who will listen.
One night many years ago, I was happily singing my way up the winding road leading to the top of Mt. Hamilton, home of the James Lick Observatory. I was in a Zepplinish mood that night, and had put my Presence tape into the cassette deck. About half-way through Achilles Last Stand, I had this weird conviction that I wouldn't be hearing that song again. It really creeped me out, and I thought about turning around and going home. Instead, when the song ended I simply rewound the tape and played it again. I wasn't going to let some fanciful notion get in my way of some serious stargazing. Convinced that I had outwitted my premonition, I continued merrily on my way.
I had driven about two thirds of the way up to the top when, as I rounded a turn, I noticed a strange light low in the sky. Now, this happened too quick for me to get more than a couple glances, but as I came around the next bend, there it was again. Still no time for a clear view, but it was enough to say, yes, there was something strange in the sky. It shimmered with color, kind of like the reflectors on the side of the road, yet it held it's position in the sky. My curiosity fully engaged, I decided to get a better look at the next opportunity. The next bend was a wide, gentle curve which allowed great visibility. As I approached it, I slowed the car down. Twenty, fifteen, ten miles an hour, I neared the turn and saw for a third time what to me will always be a UFO.
For, before I had the opportunity for the light to become an "IFO", I looked back at the road to find that the curve was not quite as gentle as it seemed. I turned and managed to keep the left two wheels on the road. As the car ground to a halt, my mental dialog went something like this:
"Crud! There goes my new $400 muffler." The car began to teeter. "This isn't safe. Do I have the time to take off my seatbelt and get out of the car?" "If I get out, the car will surely roll over sideways." "Still, I don't want to be in here if the car does tip over." The car began to tip over.
"Ok, too late for the seatbelt idea. Glad I still have it on." The side of the car began to make crumpling noises. "I wonder how much that is going to cost." The car rolled upside-down. "How am I going to get to work in the morning?" The car completed it's first sideways flip and began the next. "Hey! I'm on a mountain!!!" The car completed it's second sideways flip and began the third, gaining speed. "I'm going to die! In the movies the cars always burst into a ball of flames!"
The car began it's fourth sideways flip, the last that I kept count of. "I'm still alive.. If I make it out of this, I want to have my limbs. Keep to the middle." "I've knocked down a couple of small trees so far. What if one jabs inside the car and kills me!?!?" "Can't do anything about that. Keep to the middle. You want your head as far away from the window as possible." "This car's sure to blow up in a burst of flame!" "Can't do anything about that. Keep to the middle. You need both of your hands to type." "The car's flipping end over end now. How much farther till the bottom?" "They always explode when they hit the bottom!" "Keep to the middle." "It's stopped flipping! I'm right-side up and rolling backwards! I just knocked down another tree." "Brake! Pull the emergancy brake!" "Jammed! Step on the brake!" The car stopped.
I sat there for a while, with my foot clenched on the brake, trying to figure out how I was going to get out of the car. The car was still on a steep incline, facing up the mountain, and my door was jammed. Do I dare take off the seatbelt and try to climb out the window? Smoke or steam was billowing from the front of the car, raising more exploding car concerns. Do I dare stay in the car? Fortunately, the car had lost one of the front wheels on the way down, so when I had gathered the courage to ease my foot off the brake the car stayed still.
Though the car was totaled, I came out of the car without any injuries at all. My foot did require some stitches when I stepped on some barbed wire while climbing up the side of the mountain in the night, since my sandals had left both my feet and the car on the way down. And, I also got the worst case of poison oak in my life. But I was alive! ...and left with one heck of a story.
Life lessons:
* Buckle up!
* Come to a COMPLETE stop before stargazing.
* Don't waste time on the things you have no control over.
* In real life, cars don't always burst into flames.
* If you are in an accident, and the door is jammed... try unlocking it.”
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